A Case for Casual

There’s a semi-mass conversation going on about all people’s right to sex, perfectly reasonable, some may expect i’ll say? Seeing as i’d perhaps be someone materially benefitting on the back of the sentiment

Luckily this lovely little nugget of a discussion with Trevor Noah appeared to me, out of the blue (considering i’d never heard of him before as i do live somewhat under a rock). what he said made a lot more sense. a right to intimacy feels like more sense.

I think of time on lockdowns, where stepping out and having small conversations with casual strangers, such small moments of connection felt suddenly rather precious. Intimacy even in these small cases is essential for our experience generally.

intimacy isn't merely a desire but ‘a glue holding our relationships & sense of self together’ (esther perel).

Is having sex glueing our sense of self together? If we’re talking honestly, more often than not it is mere surface-level. Often a means to an end. Nothing wrong with that.

Safe to say, for me however *all* of intimacies forms; from casual yet simmering eye contact at a bar, to the intensity of full-blown-writhing-bodies-beneath-a-canopy-sex, provide me meaning before what can sometimes feel like a lot of meaninglessness. i savour it all.