The Voyeur
I want the best for you, and by that I mean the best lovers.
We saunter up the staircase to this ‘discreet party’, the building's gothic facade is ornate, hovering over us adding to both our intrigue about the space we are about to enter. Is there such thing as a serious joke? Well, that’s what it was when we booked our spots. Now here we are.
After our coats are taken, we plunge past a thick velvet curtain. Your hands on my hips ground me, knowingly sensing my anticipation in this new space. Just what i needed. This long lace dress is the perfect thing to feel your hands through.
Still focussed on you, but i can’t help but look at the very sexy people around the room, all quite anonymous, of course. While we coyly look around and assess, i beckon you into a corner. i want to get warmed up with you (so to speak) in this little dark alcove. There’s something i can perch over for this exact purpose. It's nice to fuck in seclusion just to start. Then you do what I love, pulling out of me early, leaving me aching with horniness.
I smooth my dress back down and i sense someone motioning for your attention. She’s so hot and confident. You fall behind me a little but i encourage you in front. We approach her and i feel myself melt as she grazes my arm, seeing the glint of her eye at me through her costume. We find a seat on a long chair, her conversation is very fun and light, my senses show me she is fixed on having you. She puts an arm around your shoulder and you look at me before i watch you kiss, she turns and i kiss her too. We motion to find somewhere in private, just us three.
Once we close the door, her dress is automatically off. She places your hands on her and then leads mine to join too.. Both of your skin feels like heaven to me. We both drop down to our knees in front of you, and have the most fun, always keeping eye contact. I enjoy so much while you fuck us both from behind, we kiss passionately... Who gets fucked is at your discretion. The funnest game. We’re both laughing while we kiss for you, i love tenderly holding her face. I slide away, suddenly having an urge to step back and watch you both together. She turns and lies down with her legs spread, in this obvious pleasure of hers radiates to me too. I relish being back in my dress, in prime position to watch you both. It’s the most relaxed and hottest thing, watching you slowly and deliberately pummel her, sensing the passion between you both really unravels something in me.
A few moments later, I watch you both finish while i calmly sip my drink. My cheeks feel flushed and a wave of relaxation has already hit. I join you both in giggling and we’re on the floor exultated together. I lean over to you, exhausted as you are and you taste my drink on my tongue. ‘Who else do we have to meet here, darling?` I ask.
Fading Into Newness
Hey Stranger,
It’s been a while. If we haven’t met yet, hello and welcome. if we’ve met before, can I say I miss you?
Whoever it is reading, I wish you all the best for the coming year ahead, you stay happy, healthy and resilient and a plethora of treasured moments, hours, experiences with those who make you feel yourself, including but not limited to, stolen glances across dinner, hand-holding, sharing excellent meals, breakfast trays and alot of laughter, luck, treating others with patience, until we see each other.
Yesterday was the Solstice, ever a perfect time for intention-making, potent times for easing into a new state of being i think. I felt clear in my head. Outside everything going on in life, rather than in it, soothingly. perfect for reflection on where i’m at and what i can hope to unfold . i even woke up at 3 a.m (not normal for me)…
Already looking forward to resuming adventures after the holiday break, 2024 is holding a lot of promise. To the surprise of no-one, I’m unofficially making the announcement here first that i’ll be making London my full-time base from summertime 2024. London has lured me, and i’m so grateful for it.
For those feeling generous, my home-owner fund remains on my wishlist. As most of you know, anything from the list can be a contribution.
To my Brussels lovers, i’m still only a mere 3 hours by train away. I’ll always be enthusiastic to revisit you.
to more pleasure,
Always.
E x
A Vindication of Forgetting Yourself
A little thing about me.
I like to deep dive into my sauna routine (I thank the germans for the initiation). In the depths of low-lighted steam, to the cold pool. In my mind hours can be spent. Sensations after far surpass feelings during. Like most good things, it’s worth the discomfort.
As i lean a bit into archeological study of late, i do wonder what happened to the UK’s bathing culture? It esconced. What ever for? How were people conviced to abandon feeling better than they did stepping into a bath? It’s unbelievable. Now i seek out Turkish, russian, marroccan, greek hammams, it feels second nature in these spaces, and to the people that rum them, not clinical. As they know, wellness shoud be a regular habit.
My utopia: resplendent in the roman baths in Somerset, in my mind a societal necessity. Where else can you clear your mind in steamy, dimly-lit solace, with only the sounds of ceiling drips and people inhaling and exhaling around you? Forgetting all that you know.
Forgetting oneself. It transforms.
It’s in such liminal spaces, almost nude, between taking my body through temperature extremes and my own slow, steady breath that my mind becomes clearest. Closed eyes, forgetting everything, myself, momentarily, peacefully. Intoxicating, comforting Aleppo laurel soap.
It’s almost always a rather matronly woman doing your gommage (exfoliation), so brutal she’s absolving your sins from your pores. Her roughness leaves you silky as a baby. Renewed.
Do you know what i mean?
A Case for Casual
There’s a semi-mass conversation going on about all people’s right to sex, perfectly reasonable, some may expect i’ll say? Seeing as i’d perhaps be someone materially benefitting on the back of the sentiment
Luckily this lovely little nugget of a discussion with Trevor Noah appeared to me, out of the blue (considering i’d never heard of him before as i do live somewhat under a rock). what he said made a lot more sense. a right to intimacy feels like more sense.
I think of time on lockdowns, where stepping out and having small conversations with casual strangers, such small moments of connection felt suddenly rather precious. Intimacy even in these small cases is essential for our experience generally.
intimacy isn't merely a desire but ‘a glue holding our relationships & sense of self together’ (esther perel).
Is having sex glueing our sense of self together? If we’re talking honestly, more often than not it is mere surface-level. Often a means to an end. Nothing wrong with that.
Safe to say, for me however *all* of intimacies forms; from casual yet simmering eye contact at a bar, to the intensity of full-blown-writhing-bodies-beneath-a-canopy-sex, provide me meaning before what can sometimes feel like a lot of meaninglessness. i savour it all.
Tropes of 'the Good Girl' and others
I’ve been thinking lately about certain scenarios that really twist my mind into such pleasurable modes, why is that?
Tropes shape our understandings of ourselves, we, seeking to understand and define our identities. My fascination particularly stems from how they play out with us in the erotic sense. The trope of the good student / play-thing / inappropriate relative roleplay (yes, often highly taboo things) evidently provides me with a pattern i’ve related to and adopt as part of my self-perception. Apparently this goes with finding a sense of meaningfulness, even belonging, in playful senses, due to ‘the good student’s expectations, roles, strengths, weaknesses etc.
What do these roles i’m often playing the part of have in common? i seemingly revel in the connotations of innocence, purity, perhaps i don’t necessarily feel myself as these things but find it fun to suspend reality a bit. Hell, my self-esteem gets a boost from it. I recognize that what i’m up to is fictional, and the minute the sex is over so is the story and i go back to Eve, the individual.
I know it’s not my own limiting my view of myself, as what is maybe clear on meeting me, often i am anything but submissive. A narrative being of course just a fantasy.
She contains multitudes
The same goes for my partners, too. Human beings are not one-dimensional characters. we possess a range of traits, strengths, vulnerabilities.. of which kink lets us explore in a totally fun, uninhibited, safe way, ultimately allowing for self-acceptance (how nice) and as i believe, even a dash of personal growth
Letizia + Eve: Forays into kink
You may have come across Leti or I due to our certain, mutual fascination in kink. Both of us receive messages from those curious, who want to explore but don’t know where to start, are unsure what info to share in a request to a kinky provider, not to mention how a kink session can play out. Even more to the point, we both love to receive kink requests. We combined forces to share some thoughts and our backgrounds in kink for the curiosos out there, let’s delve in..
What do you think now about some of your formative kink experiences?
E: I think I would say some of my formative kink experiences in berlin were ‘in the deep end’ so to speak. Some with unexperienced people, who assumed having money to splash on a lot of gear automatically made them experienced. My first latex night I think I’ll probably never forget… I was dressed up in 2 layers of latex over my body, straightjacket, long arm gloves, cloak, full-face mask, high heels (that I rarely wore at the time), hand-cuffed, ankle-cuffed. A latex pump inflated in my mouth (and later in my pu**y). Wearing all of this, driven by him to a club where, I couldn’t even hold my drink nor sip without his assistance. Despite me feeling secure with him, in hindsight he was not a good communicator, which really means it was not a fully safe space. I now emphasise that I need a clear idea of what’s going to go down, people trying to be vague over plans when they could potentially be as elaborate as this scenario is now a red flag for me.
That being said, I’ m grateful my first kink dates were with really experienced people. They held me after, they constantly checked-in. I would make out that I knew what to expect but now see that as a huge mistake. There’s no point bragging.. It’s always obvious in a date on when someone makes out they’re more experienced than they are, and happens alot. Kink is consideration of the other.
L:I think they were a hit and miss. My first kink experience was with a boyfriend I had when I was 22, he was a little older, quite well known in activist/intellectual circles in Barcelona, I really admired him. (One of those self-proclaimed feminists who can get away with being shit at affective responsibility because they are kind of famous). I was absolutely fascinated with my horny reaction to pain/being humiliated and so was he. It was exciting but I can’t really say I really enjoyed playing with him. Now with the hindsight I see I the only reason I was consenting is because I didn’t want to disappoint him which is really sad. He wouldn’t check on me, on whether I was ok, we never spoke about the sessions “outside of the sessions”… He would just get carried away and I didn’t know how to express myself. I now realise that he had no idea about what he has doing. It was the typical case of bravado and testosterone conflated with what it means to be a dom. Plenty of these in places such as Fetlife.
Luckily I have fine-tuned my sensitivities along the years and I now see red flags better. There is a massive distance with how I get into my sub-space now, in comparison to my formative experiences. Last time I played it was with an experienced rigger, they would read me so well, such a sensitive person and would know when to ask how I’m feeling so that I could slowly enter in my sub-space. I like to compare a kink session with eating at a Michelin starred restaurant. Is about flavours, textures, surprises, creativity… It requires a bunch of sophistication to be able to both give and receive kink.
E: I think having time someone with some experience, especially with a 'pro' so to speak, will avoid such weirdness coming up. Experienced kinksters will want to know your taboos clearly from the outset, simple as it sounds. I would say when choosing a kinky partner, pro or not, always go with your gut.
When a client comes to you inexperienced but with a clear idea of a scenario in their head, what can they expect when you finally both meet?
L: I keep on having clients who are new to BDSM and, somehow, I feel like telling them something like – if you want to play, be aware of the importance of challenging yourself, of deconstructing some of your assumptions and to really know how to listen to your partner.
E: I prefer general things about the set-up talked about beforehand so we both know how things will be instigated and how it will run. I don’t think I’ve met anyone asking for a vague ‘bdsm date’ request, it just doesn’t really cut it. I like to know what the scenario will be. Once we meet, we’ll chat and warm-up to each other a bit before, to get a sense of each other, maybe while sipping something delicious. I find that all we’ve already talked about tends to flash in my (and my partner’s) head during this time which adds some electric edge in these first moments together.
I wouldn’t be surprised if I reemphasise the need for a lot of communication throughout the date (especially when I’m in the submissive role) as I want to enjoy the time and relax into things just as much as my partner.. I’m more comfortable with surprises happening after a few meetings, not really in the first. Spoken words are so hot. its important (and sexy…) to verbalise your intentions and what you want. Actually, I think this goes for all sex.
And so, here is a brief but rather lush snapshot of some key takeaways of two experienced kinksters looking back to their accumulated years of boudoir experiences. Reflecting in hindsight about that “gut feeling” that was telling us “this doesn’t feel right”, “this feels aligned”, “this is mind blowing”. From the first (perhaps wrongly ignored?) red flags till some cut-glass almost perfect sessions in which magic unfolds, there has been a very conscious reflective learning process in between. It might sound like a cliché but it is indeed the ingredient for a safe, sane and consensual kinky session: communication. Get to know your partner well prior of the session, consent can be well erotic if you find the right narrative to describe your fantasies. Check in during the session, understand you partner might be in a sub space and hence not as verbal as normally. Do not take assumptions and, focus on setting a real connection away from what’s supposed to look “performative” within BDSM imagery.
Good luck all in your juicy endeavours!
Xx
Eve & Leti
The Art of Words.* And Keys. And Locks.
*the effect of words on s*x. Or shifting the sexual frontier in mere moments
Getting a clear sense of someone’s deepest kinks or desires usually, truly does not happen in the first hour or meet-up. The dynamic with one person can be totally the opposite with someone else, with chemistry being the unpredictable and fickle thing that it is.
To speak something that really feels like a key clicking in the lock in the mind of a partner, I think it comes down to an interplay of how their desires work with my own.
I can’t count how many times i’ve spoken something during play, and the feeling of the metaphorical key having been turned. I’ll get a look in the eye, “Do you really mean that?” “Yes…” I respond. And you can imagine the ploughing that ensues.
Attaining this awareness of what will get us both off comes down to investing intimate time with someone, also where attention is held. I watch lovers and their response when I hold their head, or throat, or when i’m a little harder on their skin. How they are when I start gradually using dominant or submissive language, depending on what my instinct is telling me, not about this preconceived notion in my head that I'm either this or that (also fine). I crave for myself and my lovers a space to go beyond our everyday reality and roles.
I've also been turned straight off by someone’s words. If this has happened to you you’ll know how disappointing it is. If I feel like someone will enjoy derogatory name-calling, I won’t assume it.. I’ll ask them. What words do you like to hear? Can I call you xxx? Is it worth taking a chance in making assumptions and risk ruining the mood/turning someone off as quickly as a hot or cold tap? From experience, I’d say it never is.
S+x would be better if there was more talking. From simply asking how the pleasure is, to directing a lover to an area on my body with more sensation. There’s all too much to be gained (enhanced mutual pleasure! a true meeting of erotic minds!) from such a simple act.
Can I go as far as to say the brain is an erogenous zone? For me at least, it is.
When a client comes to you inexperienced but with a clear idea of a scenario in their head, what can they expect when you finally both meet?
L: I keep on having clients who are new to BDSM and, somehow, I feel like telling them something like – if you want to play, be aware of the importance of challenging yourself, of deconstructing some of your assumptions and to really know how to listen to your partner.
E: I prefer general things about the set-up talked about beforehand so we both know how things will be instigated and how it will run. I don’t think I’ve met anyone asking for a vague ‘bdsm date’ request, it just doesn’t really cut it. I like to know what the scenario will be. Once we meet, we’ll chat and warm-up to each other a bit before, to get a sense of each other, maybe while sipping something delicious. I find that all we’ve already talked about tends to flash in my (and my partner’s) head during this time which adds some electric edge in these first moments together.
I wouldn’t be surprised if I reemphasise the need for a lot of communication throughout the date (especially when I’m in the submissive role) as I want to enjoy the time and relax into things just as much as my partner.. I’m more comfortable with surprises happening after a few meetings, not really in the first. Spoken words are so hot. its important (and sexy…) to verbalise your intentions and what you want. Actually, I think this goes for all sex.
And so, here is a brief but rather lush snapshot of some key takeaways of two experienced kinksters looking back to their accumulated years of boudoir experiences. Reflecting in hindsight about that “gut feeling” that was telling us “this doesn’t feel right”, “this feels aligned”, “this is mind blowing”. From the first (perhaps wrongly ignored?) red flags till some cut-glass almost perfect sessions in which magic unfolds, there has been a very conscious reflective learning process in between. It might sound like a cliché but it is indeed the ingredient for a safe, sane and consensual kinky session: communication. Get to know your partner well prior of the session, consent can be well erotic if you find the right narrative to describe your fantasies. Check in during the session, understand you partner might be in a sub space and hence not as verbal as normally. Do not take assumptions and, focus on setting a real connection away from what’s supposed to look “performative” within BDSM imagery.
Good luck all in your juicy endeavours!
Xx
Eve & Leti